I have come across videos on TikTok in which people say that dating after 40 is just looking for someone to die with. But if someone is in a relationship for fear of being left alone in old age, it often means that the person is ready to suffer much more in the relationship. Nevertheless, there is no guarantee that your current partner will stay with you for the rest of your life. The nature of lifestyle and emotional relationships are constantly changing. Therefore, it is always good to eliminate that fear of loneliness in old age. Everyone has the right to an emotional connection, regardless of their age. Will it be harder for you to find a partner after 40? Probably yes. You will be surrounded by happy couples with children, and you will probably need to kiss a few frogs before you find your prince. This does not mean that you should give up, on the contrary, encourage yourself, you have more years but also more wisdom, you got this!
Know what you want..
Humans are social beings and therefore do not want to be alone. This means that there will always be men and women of all ages looking for a partner. It is true that there are women who are single and happy with that decision, but behind that decision is usually a traumatic marriage or a toxic relationship. However, the majority of those who are alone after the age of 40, continue to look for the right one. The problem is that you will often hear the words “I am looking for the right one, but I have very high criteria”. And that is not true, you do not have high criteria, but unrealistic. Sabotage occurs from a part of the person called the “inner child”, this is what every man has no matter how old he is, so he often keeps the definition of love he had in childhood and adolescence. Emotional maturation means that a person reconsiders his or her early conception of love and relationship. If a person adjusts to the criteria of his age, if he seeks such an emotional connection that can be found, if he has an active social life, it is very likely that in time he or she will be able to achieve that connection.
Both men and women know to be demanding a lot. The modern marital crisis is the result of excessive demand. Often, we expect the impossible from love – to make us happy for the rest of our lives. People watch movies, other people’s relationships, follow social networks where everyone tries to glamorously present themselves as someone who has succeeded in life. Many think that if they do not have the same life as they see others, they are failures in life. And the greater the demands and expectations, the greater the disappointment when they realize that the other can not fill them in. This changes with the years. Dating after 40 can allow you to see not only the person and his / her characteristics but also what kind of relationship you can build with that person. It is a period in which both men and women value the security and comfort of the relationship more.
Embrace your baggage…
Bad relationships or divorces are always “major life events” in a negative sense. It is a period where you must go through an emotional process that consists of accepting the new situation and adapting to it. Divorce always means losing something that you had and was very important, so you enter a process of grief that emotionally separates you from the past. On the other hand, there is a future that is uncertain, so fears are tied to the future. In other words, you must find your “new self” and orient yourself and choose the direction in which you will go.
Relationships do not change by themselves, people change. Most for the better, some for the worse, and some trying to stay the same as when they were 20 years old. When it comes to relationships, it is important that people change in the same direction, continue to share views on what is most important in life. There are cases when couples decide that the relationship is not good enough and break up, those who stay together must not forget that they should commit to each other in the roles of husband and wife. They go through life challenges and problems together and every time they successfully overcome the argument, their relationship is stronger.
Even if it’s painful…
Young people choose partners because they are in love, and later they will realize that the partner they married is not as ideal as they thought, followed by crises and instabilities as well as breakups and divorces. Do not let the sadness of the past discourage you. Two mature people who are familiarized with their qualities and flaws, will develop the need for tolerance towards the other, they know exactly what they want and what they don’t and that is why dating after 40 can create far more stable love relationships. During this period, women are more stable than men because men experience the crisis of middle age more often and more dramatically. Behind this crisis lies the fear of old age, so they tend to prove that they are not old, often with affairs with a much younger person.
Stay positive
Always seek love! You have changed a lot in these 40 years, you are now emotionally mature, so you should seek love from an emotionally mature partner. And not only emotionally, but also socially mature, someone who has achieved something in life, who has self-esteem, and who believes in his abilities, but also who respects others and knows how to show love. All this means that mature people who have learned something in their lives so far, have understood what the real-life values are, and such can look for the person who will be their partner on the journey through life together.
